COMMON MISTAKES MADE AFTER A BREAK UP

Reframe from making these mistakes
and have a better chance at getting your ex back.

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If you have it in your mind that you are going to try and get your ex back and find yourself thinking of ways to get them back, then I strongly advise you DO NOT make these mistakes.


Dialing under the Influence
One of the most common and usually the first mistake made just after a break up is dialing under the influence. This is when you drink excessively and then start calling your ex pleading with them to come back to you or leave messages on their voicemail or answer machine. This type behavior is not only unacceptable but it makes you appear weak and desperate and will most certainly demolish your chance for a reunion. Not to mention the embarrassment you will face if your ex decided to share your call with friends. Hang on to your pride during this difficult time and don’t dial under the influence!


Telephone Terrorist

Don’t use the phone, email, text messages, etc to send frequent recurring messages to your ex! Don’t be a telephone terrorist! A constantly ringing phone and a full inbox with messages from you will be annoying to your ex. Even though they may miss you just as you miss them, annoying behavior makes you look like a nut case, you will lose respect and you will lose your own self respect.Your will put your ex in a position to hate hearing your voice, hate hearing from you, and definitely hate seeing you. You don’t want this! You don’t want them to run in another direction when they see you coming or avoid places they think you might be.This is similar to drunken dialing only there is no alcohol involved. What this entails is your repeated attempts to get a hold of your ex through means of telephone, e-mail, cell phone and text messages.



Down in the Dumps
There are several feelings that come along with a break up. Feel like you don’t care about anything Don’t want to get out of bed and face the day Don’t want to go to work, school, out with friends, etc Can’t talk or even think about anything but your ex. Ignore your responsibilities. Stop eating. Drink too much alcohol. When these feelings go into action it’s one
of the worst things to go through and one of the hardest feelings to pull out of.



Being down in the dumps has other repercussions as well. You can find yourself not only without a boyfriend but also without the other important things in your life because you have ignored them or stopped doing them all together. No guy or girl is worth this so keep things in perspective, be strong, find another way to vent your pain. No matter how hard it is you must get out of the house, go out with friends and share in their worries and happenings in their life. Stop thinking about your problem and get involved in helping a friend out or family member. Remember that life goes on and for your future; you have to move on with it.This piece of advice is easier said than done but ignoring it can really set your efforts back. The problem with your impulses is that they’re primed by deep seated fears as well as your current emotional state. These fears and emotions are often negative which can lead to actions that produce self defeating results.


Forget the Threats
Often times pain turns into anger and the next you know you are doing things you would normally never do, like threatening by using confidential information you obtained while dating. Firstly, this shows your ex you lack character, and cannot be trusted when you are angry. This will lead your ex to think they may have been right in breaking up with you because trust is a major foundation for a relationship.Is it



Determined Effort or Stalking?
Ask yourself: is it determined effort you are making to get your ex back or are you stalking him? Following him from place to place trying to see what he is doing or who he is with? Stalking can be a sign that you are not a well person. It can also land you in jail and imagine the embarrassment when everyone knows what you did. If you stalk your ex chances of getting him/her back or nil!


Don’t Get Angry at their family and friends
It is natural for your ex’s family and friends to support them do not get angry about this. It doesn’t mean they don’t like you it just means they are supporting your ex. Don’t make it harder on mutual friends. It is hard enough for them already being in the middle and listening to both sides but you will lose the friendship if you don’t play it cool.



While going through a break up, if you decide you want to get you ex back or want a second chance to be better in the relationship make a decision immediately not to do anything damaging to your image and have a plan to increase your chances for a successful reunion.


Redirect your focus to your career, your education and most of all to yourself. Put energy into finding constructive ways to get your ex back and keep your image intact.


Tomorrow you will find out how to best cope with a break up. Until then, stay strong and keep in mind that there is hope for getting an ex back.