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The Leading Killers of Intimacy

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Intimacy, physical and emotional closeness, can be tough to steer through. For both parties to feel the pleasures of an intimate relationship it takes commitment from both individuals. In your quest to improve intimacy in your relationship, be aware of the biggest intimacy killers and avoid them at all costs.

Dishonesty and Silence
Intimacy requires honesty and openness. To be close to someone you have to be willing to share and listen to what your partner has to share. Silence is not the always the best way to protect your partner from something that may hurt them. When you do this you are not allowing the relationship to grow or your partner to grow into your needs. Dishonesty is lethal and no matter what reason you may have for being dishonest it will come back to haunt you later and this can be fatal to your relationship.

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Lack of Trust
Dishonesty can lead to a lack of trust. Not good for any relationship! If you have had a reason from your past that keeps you from trusting you need to heal from that past. You must base your decision to trust someone on their actions not the actions of someone else you dealt with prior. Trust until there is reason not to.

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Trying to Alter your Partner
Acceptance of yourself and your partner is a powerful indicator of love. Lacking acceptance of a person often leads to a need to control. This need to control will come off to your partner as trying to change them or a feeling of inadequacy. You don’t want to make your partner feel like you think you are better than he is or that he is not good enough for you.

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Inability to be Expressive with Your Feeling

You have heard said a million times! Communication is the key to any relationship. Your partner cannot read your mind so the only way to get what you need is to communicate. You have to express yourself and be open to your partner when he expresses himself or herself. If you suppress your feelings you are shutting your partner out leaving him/her to feeling confused as to what you want and eventually exhausted from trying to figure you out.

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Not listening to your partner’s needs/wants
For many people listening poses more of a challenge then talking. It is important to be a good listener with any relationship. One of the ways to acknowledge you are listening is to take the information given to you and act on it accordingly so that your partner doesn’t have to keep telling you the same thing over and over. This definitely gives the impression that you either aren’t listening to his needs or that you simply don’t care. 

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Being Self-absorbed

There has to be a balance between self and partner. This is the back bone of intimacy. It can’t be always about you or always about your partner. Taking into account the feeling, needs, and wants of another person is what a relationship is all about. Everything in your life has to now be shared with your partner. This includes decisions about finances, free time, kids, outings, vacations, careers, etc.

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Lack of Respect
Healthy intimacy in a relationship revolves around respect for yourself as well as your partner. You need to ensure also, that your actions warrant respect. Without respect a healthy relationship cannot thrive.

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Imbalance of Power
A balance of power simply means that you both have the same say in all areas of your life together and that your needs and wants are both equally as important. You are both equal so don’t be on a power trip thinking that you are better or smarter or more successful and that is why you should have more say about things.

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Unhealthy Arguments
Disagreements between couples are a normal and healthy part of a relationship. What is not healthy is allowing the disagreements to go unresolved, inflicting emotional and physical pain, and angry expressions that are not easily forgotten. A healthy relationship is one in which couples can quickly and painlessly bounce back after an argument, and can resolve their differences as soon as possible.

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Absence of Touch

Touch is a feeling that is imperative to human nature. Although physical intimacy is just one part of total intimacy, it is important. Make it a point to hug, kiss, and experience sexual intimacy.

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Extreme Separateness

So many couples, after time, begin to live separate lives. Intimacy requires a couple spend time together and share in each other’s life, the good, the bad, the great and the sad. Put an end to the separateness and bring togetherness back into your relationship.

Relationships often start out with a lot of intimacy. Through life’s busy schedule and ups and downs it can be difficult for any couple to hang on to that intimacy. Love one another, spend time together, and share your dreams, your fears and your hopes. You can put this knowledge into action when you get your ex back.


Tomorrow is our last day and you are going to find out some great love making tips to learn and put into place. This is a great way to surprise your ex when you get back together and show them how much they mean to you when they see the effort you have taken to improve your love making skills. Be sure to share them with your partner so they too can give back as much as you are.

Ways to Cope with a Break Up

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Whether you were dating for a few months, in a long-term relationship or married, breaking up can have devastating effects on our emotions, the way we think and often times can make us do things we normally wouldn’t do.

My granny used to say, “This too shall pass.” You will be able to get out of bed easily again, go a day without bursting into tears, listen to music like you used to and return to your good ole self. But right now you need some advice, good friends, and people to help you out along the way.

Here’s how to best cope with a break up and how to speed up the healing process. This will also enable you to get your bearings and seek out a good way to get your ex back if that is what you would like to do. Let get to it!

1. Let it out. Alone or with friends cry your eyes out, feel sorry for yourself, and wallow in your sorrows for a short time. Grieve for your loss. It is a way to relieve your feelings out of your body and mind. Be careful though! During this spurt – don’t do things that will embarrass you or cause you to lose any chance you may have of getting your ex back.

2. Focus on today (AKA: Take one day at a time). Walk one step at a time and live one day at a time. Don’t overwhelm yourself by thinking to far ahead. Don’t look at the broader picture just yet. There is still hope for a reunion so no need to make negative assumptions just yet.

3. Be Optimistic. The power of positive thinking is undeniable! You’ve heard it before. Smile when you don’t feel like smiling, laugh when you don’t feel like laughing, and sing when you don’t feel like singing. Try this. After a short while it becomes easier to smile, laugh and sing, and you will be one step closer to a more positive productive day.

4. Don’t Self Destruct. Pain can often cause anger and bitterness, which can then turn to lack of trust and isolation. Isolation can cause a whole other string of problems and believe me, it isn’t worth it because you will soon sink and there will be no one to help you out of the water. Don’t hurt yourself like this. Everyone goes through a break up. It doesn’t make you any less of a person or any less of a person you are today. Living with anger and bitterness is a road to destruction. I know you love your ex but come on, are he/she really worth destruction? Not to mention there are people out there that love you and need you. How can you help them if you are too busy destroying yourself?

6. Have no fear. Fear is crippling, unproductive and attracts negative vibes to your life. It will cause you to exaggerate many things and you will find that fear will begin to dictate your decisions in life. One of my favorite sayings, is “You have nothing to fear but fear itself.” Be afraid of fear and stay clear from it at all times!

7. Expand your horizons. Find new things to do, new things to learn, and new places to go. Look into volunteer work or taking a class on a subject that interests you. Focus on being a busy, independent person. Through this, new worlds will open up to you and this is always a blessing. .

8. Don’t blame yourself. It isn’t necessary to blame yourself for the break up. It is important that we all know where we went wrong but after you find it out let it go and move on. You may get a second chance to do it right but until then love yourself and give yourself another chance to be happy.

9. Let yourself heal. You need to give yourself time to heal before embarking on a new relationship. Take things slow, find yourself again as an independent person. Only then can you be at your best for a new relationship, even if it is your ex you are getting back together with.
Allow yourself time to heal and accept the fact that it does take time. Just as wounds gradually heal, so will you.

10. “Tap” away negative feelings and thoughts. Tapping is a needle-free form of emotional acupuncture that helps with negative thoughts, emotions and memories to a point where they are no longer debilitating. It is strongly recommended for people experiencing emotional pain and upset. Find out more and get a “Tap Yourself" Free E-book. http://www.tapping.com/videos/stress-relief.html

11. Take up the Art of Karate. This martial arts technique has several benefits: It gets you moving Helps with concentration. Therefore enabling you to think about something else in depth. Most people that take Karate lessons want to go back and this can help you keep busy and productive. It also gives you a something to look forward to.

I know, and everyone knows, how very difficult a break up is. But like so many other bumps in the road you have to smoothly ride over the bump and not create damage to yourself in the process. You have a life, you have people who love you and you have your future! There is even hope you can get back your ex! Magic of Making Up

Tomorrow you will find out what the biggest killers of intimacy are in a relationship. This will be of value to you when you reunite with your ex. It is also good information for you to share with family and friends.

COMMON MISTAKES MADE AFTER A BREAK UP

Reframe from making these mistakes
and have a better chance at getting your ex back.

Brought to you by
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If you have it in your mind that you are going to try and get your ex back and find yourself thinking of ways to get them back, then I strongly advise you DO NOT make these mistakes.


Dialing under the Influence
One of the most common and usually the first mistake made just after a break up is dialing under the influence. This is when you drink excessively and then start calling your ex pleading with them to come back to you or leave messages on their voicemail or answer machine. This type behavior is not only unacceptable but it makes you appear weak and desperate and will most certainly demolish your chance for a reunion. Not to mention the embarrassment you will face if your ex decided to share your call with friends. Hang on to your pride during this difficult time and don’t dial under the influence!


Telephone Terrorist

Don’t use the phone, email, text messages, etc to send frequent recurring messages to your ex! Don’t be a telephone terrorist! A constantly ringing phone and a full inbox with messages from you will be annoying to your ex. Even though they may miss you just as you miss them, annoying behavior makes you look like a nut case, you will lose respect and you will lose your own self respect.Your will put your ex in a position to hate hearing your voice, hate hearing from you, and definitely hate seeing you. You don’t want this! You don’t want them to run in another direction when they see you coming or avoid places they think you might be.This is similar to drunken dialing only there is no alcohol involved. What this entails is your repeated attempts to get a hold of your ex through means of telephone, e-mail, cell phone and text messages.



Down in the Dumps
There are several feelings that come along with a break up. Feel like you don’t care about anything Don’t want to get out of bed and face the day Don’t want to go to work, school, out with friends, etc Can’t talk or even think about anything but your ex. Ignore your responsibilities. Stop eating. Drink too much alcohol. When these feelings go into action it’s one
of the worst things to go through and one of the hardest feelings to pull out of.



Being down in the dumps has other repercussions as well. You can find yourself not only without a boyfriend but also without the other important things in your life because you have ignored them or stopped doing them all together. No guy or girl is worth this so keep things in perspective, be strong, find another way to vent your pain. No matter how hard it is you must get out of the house, go out with friends and share in their worries and happenings in their life. Stop thinking about your problem and get involved in helping a friend out or family member. Remember that life goes on and for your future; you have to move on with it.This piece of advice is easier said than done but ignoring it can really set your efforts back. The problem with your impulses is that they’re primed by deep seated fears as well as your current emotional state. These fears and emotions are often negative which can lead to actions that produce self defeating results.


Forget the Threats
Often times pain turns into anger and the next you know you are doing things you would normally never do, like threatening by using confidential information you obtained while dating. Firstly, this shows your ex you lack character, and cannot be trusted when you are angry. This will lead your ex to think they may have been right in breaking up with you because trust is a major foundation for a relationship.Is it



Determined Effort or Stalking?
Ask yourself: is it determined effort you are making to get your ex back or are you stalking him? Following him from place to place trying to see what he is doing or who he is with? Stalking can be a sign that you are not a well person. It can also land you in jail and imagine the embarrassment when everyone knows what you did. If you stalk your ex chances of getting him/her back or nil!


Don’t Get Angry at their family and friends
It is natural for your ex’s family and friends to support them do not get angry about this. It doesn’t mean they don’t like you it just means they are supporting your ex. Don’t make it harder on mutual friends. It is hard enough for them already being in the middle and listening to both sides but you will lose the friendship if you don’t play it cool.



While going through a break up, if you decide you want to get you ex back or want a second chance to be better in the relationship make a decision immediately not to do anything damaging to your image and have a plan to increase your chances for a successful reunion.


Redirect your focus to your career, your education and most of all to yourself. Put energy into finding constructive ways to get your ex back and keep your image intact.


Tomorrow you will find out how to best cope with a break up. Until then, stay strong and keep in mind that there is hope for getting an ex back.

The Couples Lovemaking Report

Ways to give your partner the ultimate lovemaking experience

This report is brought to you by
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THE FLIRTING RECIPE


Flirting is an art of illuminating your positive aspects through your speech and gestures so that the person(s) from whom you want to draw attention is charmingly attracted to you.



Forget about all your over the top devices to make yourself as gorgeous as the Hollywood crowd. All you need is a great, genuine smile and some hints on how to flirt when you get your ex back.
Flirting isn’t just for singles. It’s a great way to have fun and create a build up to a love making encounter. Attract the opposite sex like bees to honey with these guaranteed tips.

• For ladies it’s important to come across approachable to a man for him to feel comfortable taking a risk.
  
• For men it’s important to show his masculinity (don’t overdo it) and appear confident and secure.
  
  

THE INGREDIENTS

SMILING is the most important ingredient in your flirting recipe. It is one of the ways to be attractive and approachable. If a guy has have loved eyes and a smile with a woman 3 times in one night, she’s interested!

WHEN EYES MEET it’s the universal sign of openness and your target will know it is them you are flirting with. Lock eyes for 6 seconds then smile and drop your stare. Do this 3 times in fifteen minutes.

MOVING YOUR HANDS up and down a glass or playing with something on the table send very sensual messages.

CROSS YOUR LEGS ladies, especially if you’re wearing heels. This is seductive behavior to a man. So is dangling your shoe from your toes because the arch of the foot mimics a woman’s curves and a sexy message.

EXPOSURE OF HER NECK is another important and captivating ingredient in your flirting recipe. Tilt head to one side, exposing your neck and either flip your hair or a glance over your shoulder. The over the shoulder glance is sexy, allows you to lock eyes and sends a signal that you are confident with your appearance to give him a second look.

LIP ONCE-OVER is an effective flirting practice for both men and women. Lick your lips but don’t overdo it. Or, bite your lower lip (gently) and add a small smile.

MEN SQUARE OFF your shoulders. A dominant man is more attractive to a woman. Shy men should hold their head up and talk a bit faster in order to be more assertive.

CASUAL TOUCHES such as during conversation a woman puts her hand gently on a man’s arm.
 
Once you have combined the above ingredients and you have begun talking to your target, add these final touches to deepen your recipes effectiveness. Smile and maintain eye contact as they are talking to you. Give them your complete attention. Nod and tilt your head to show you are listening to what they are saying. Be genuine. Smile and Laugh to make the person feel comfortable and make a connection.

FLIRTING SIGNS

MenLook particularly for low-level touching (a brush of the arm or elbow), extended eye contact and laughing, as well as the ingredients listed above. WomenLook for above ingredients as well as a man talking about his successes, flashing money or cars.



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FOR MEN


THE ART OF KISSING RECIPE


It’s been said that a woman can tell if you are the right guy for her from the first kiss. This idea has made the art of kissing a stressful venture for men, especially on their first date. A woman must feel some chemistry when she kisses you. Here is a recipe for impressive kissing.

THE INGREDIENTS

• Ensure good hygiene and be prepared.
  
• Ensure you have a good appearance and pleasant odor.
  
• Lips should be soft and supple and for that, start using lip balm on a daily basis. However, don’t use a balm just before kissing; it will be a major turn-off.
  
• Do not kiss if you have just had smelly things for lunch or smoked cigarettes.
  At the same time, always keep mints with you, for that perfect fresh breath.
  
• In the initial seconds, go easy. Give the other person time to feel completely at ease. You don’t want to be overly anxious or desperate. Once you are comfortable with your partner, try different type kisses. The French kiss is not the only kiss alive.
  
• Don’t become so lost in the kiss, so as to completely forget the other person.
  
• Be attentive to her non-verbal responses.
  
• Be confident. Being nervous while kissing is sure to make a mess of things. Just relax and go with the flow.
  
• Don’t take her by surprise. Slowly move closer to her and gently touch her face or neck before you go for the kiss.
  
• Don’t go straight for the French kiss. Ease into it with small kiss on the lips first, gently then slowly go for the French kiss.
  
• Don’t leave it in her mouth too long and control your saliva.
  
• Practice kissing on the back of your hand if you feel you’re not up to par with your kissing technique.
  Follow her lead

This Art of Kissing Recipe will render you utterly devoted when you get back together with your ex or meet that special someone that is worth making a good impression. Use the above as a starting point then incorporate your own special style to label yourself a hot kisser with your sweetheart.


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THE BETTER LOVER RECIPE

The purpose of this section is to inform you of some basic principles of the sexual fulfillment of women and to help you learn about a woman’s sexual needs, wants and desires.

THE INGREDIENTS

Once you and your partner decide you want to be physically active together, it is up to you, as the man, to pick the proper time, place and mood for your first encounter. Don’t just go for the first opportunity; make it a special encounter she will remember. A woman’s emotional and sexual pleasure can be amplified by a man bringing her to a maximum level of stimulation prior to actual intercourse. Have patience to lead a woman through foreplay.

Move from one activity to the next. Do not stay at one activity for too long. It interrupts the building of excitement towards intercourse itself. Oral Sex will help to relax and arouse a woman before intercourse. Oral sex is one of the main ingredients for a great lover. Hit the “G” Spot. You need to learn where to find a woman’s “G” spot and then you need to hit the nail on the head in order to bring a woman to orgasm during intercourse. You can find out how to accomplish this by visiting http://www.ehow.com/how_2044060_hit-the-gspot.html. To learn the 3 most suitable positions to hit the “G” Spot during intercourse visit http://www.articlesbase.com/sexuality-articles/the-3-hidden-g-spot-positions-to-drive-her-wild-93773.html

During foreplay be sure to change up the position frequently before they become boring Anticipation is one of the most effective techniques a man can use to arouse a woman. If your partner is fulfilled, your sexual satisfaction will be heightened as well.Two bodies coming together filled with sexual desires are about to create a work of art that no one can reproduce because it's yours and only yours. Don’t rush this work of art. Show your partner your newly improved love making skills as a testament to how much you love them and how devoted you are to the relationship.

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FOR WOMEN

THE ART OF KISSING RECIPE

Kissing is a give and take action. They give you tongue, so you take it. Their mouth is open more than yours, so you open a little wider. Kissing is like dancing. When a rhythm and pace start up it makes for an arousing, passionate moment.Let him initiate the first kiss. Women can initiate a kiss, preferably just not the first kiss. Even modern men tend to prefer the old fashioned rule of the man making the first move. So let him make it!

THE INGREDIENTS

• Ensure good hygiene and be prepared.
  
• Ensure you have a good appearance and pleasant odor.
  
• Lips should be soft and supple and for that, start using lip balm on a daily basis. However, don’t use a balm just before kissing; it will be a major turn-off.
  
• Do not kiss if you have just had smelly things for lunch or smoked cigarettes. At the same time, always keep mints with you, for that perfect fresh breath.
  
• Keep eyes closed.
  
• Accept your partner’s kiss by imposing a different rhythm after a few seconds. Use pauses to look into your partner’s eyes, let your souls connect as your lips connect during the kiss. Remember, rhythm is important.
  
• Relax, don’t tense up or start rambling. A man will often take this as a sign you are trying to avoid kissing him by talking a lot.
  
• Speeding up the pace and pressure can make for more intense kissing.
  
• If you are happy with the initial few seconds of the kissing, you can let your partner know by initiating more intense kissing.
  

THE BETTER LOVER RECIPE

A woman who is considered “good in bed” gives as much as she receives. Instead of lying around waiting for the man to do what she likes, she is one step ahead of him and maybe even sometimes she takes the lead, which in turn encourages the man to take their love making a notch higher.




THE INGREDIENTS

Share with your partner what really turns you on. One of the sure ways to keep your partner happy in the bedroom and lasting longer, give him oral sex. If you are not comfortable with this but would want to attempt it for it’s purpose, do some investigating, be open with your partner about it. He will find it all the more exciting that you are willing to try it out.

• Share with your partner the one or two things that would really provide you with the ultimate pleasure bliss. Being open in this area can be fun and also provides a sexy buildup to your love making.
  
• Caress your partner before and during love making. Use your fingers tips to apply different strokes of light touch, heavy kneading and deeper massage to various parts of your partner's body.
  
• Be open to new things. What works for one person does not always work for another. Your last partner may have been more conventional in bed while your current partner is a bit more on the wild side. Most men find an open minded woman sexy and alluring. For men and women both, attitude toward love making is important.

There is a difference between good love making and GREAT love making. One is satisfying and emotionally fulfilling the other is both of these plus more intense and unrestrained – the ones you think about for days and won’t soon forget.

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A BODY POSITIVE WOMAN

A Body positive woman has these 5 secret potions that make them feel confident, secure and relaxed about their bodies.

Use these 5 secrets to enhance your appeal when you get your ex back.

• 75% of women surveyed said professional achievements make them feel better about their body. When a woman feels valued she is less likely to need confirmation from the mirror.
  
• 96% of women say keeping fit makes them feel more confident about their body.
  
• 85% say love making makes them feel better about their body.
  
• 97% say eating nutritiously boosts their body image. 95% of women say getting compliments from other women helps them like their shape better.
  

These recipes and information will really add zest to your love making when you get your ex back and will help open your lines of communication and regain closeness in the relationship. Remember the areas to concentrate on right now to get back your ex.

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To recap you should be focusing on yourself in the beginning and not having any contact with your ex. Drive your career and your social life and regain interest in things you love but haven’t done for a while. Be strong and one of the best ways to do that is to keep busy and be around people that stimulate you and can make you laugh. Once you do this for a couple of months regain the contact but be cool. Show that you can have casual contact and that you are dealing fine with the break up, without actually saying it.

These are the two initial and crucial areas of focus. Watch the video that will put you on the road to obtaining the next steps on how to get an ex back and bring back a lost love.