Whether you were dating for a few months, in a long-term relationship or married, breaking up can have devastating effects on our emotions, the way we think and often times can make us do things we normally wouldn’t do.
My granny used to say, “This too shall pass.” You will be able to get out of bed easily again, go a day without bursting into tears, listen to music like you used to and return to your good ole self. But right now you need some advice, good friends, and people to help you out along the way.
Here’s how to best cope with a break up and how to speed up the healing process. This will also enable you to get your bearings and seek out a good way to get your ex back if that is what you would like to do. Let get to it!
1. Let it out. Alone or with friends cry your eyes out, feel sorry for yourself, and wallow in your sorrows for a short time. Grieve for your loss. It is a way to relieve your feelings out of your body and mind. Be careful though! During this spurt – don’t do things that will embarrass you or cause you to lose any chance you may have of getting your ex back.
2. Focus on today (AKA: Take one day at a time). Walk one step at a time and live one day at a time. Don’t overwhelm yourself by thinking to far ahead. Don’t look at the broader picture just yet. There is still hope for a reunion so no need to make negative assumptions just yet.
3. Be Optimistic. The power of positive thinking is undeniable! You’ve heard it before. Smile when you don’t feel like smiling, laugh when you don’t feel like laughing, and sing when you don’t feel like singing. Try this. After a short while it becomes easier to smile, laugh and sing, and you will be one step closer to a more positive productive day.
4. Don’t Self Destruct. Pain can often cause anger and bitterness, which can then turn to lack of trust and isolation. Isolation can cause a whole other string of problems and believe me, it isn’t worth it because you will soon sink and there will be no one to help you out of the water. Don’t hurt yourself like this. Everyone goes through a break up. It doesn’t make you any less of a person or any less of a person you are today. Living with anger and bitterness is a road to destruction. I know you love your ex but come on, are he/she really worth destruction? Not to mention there are people out there that love you and need you. How can you help them if you are too busy destroying yourself?
6. Have no fear. Fear is crippling, unproductive and attracts negative vibes to your life. It will cause you to exaggerate many things and you will find that fear will begin to dictate your decisions in life. One of my favorite sayings, is “You have nothing to fear but fear itself.” Be afraid of fear and stay clear from it at all times!
7. Expand your horizons. Find new things to do, new things to learn, and new places to go. Look into volunteer work or taking a class on a subject that interests you. Focus on being a busy, independent person. Through this, new worlds will open up to you and this is always a blessing. .
8. Don’t blame yourself. It isn’t necessary to blame yourself for the break up. It is important that we all know where we went wrong but after you find it out let it go and move on. You may get a second chance to do it right but until then love yourself and give yourself another chance to be happy.
9. Let yourself heal. You need to give yourself time to heal before embarking on a new relationship. Take things slow, find yourself again as an independent person. Only then can you be at your best for a new relationship, even if it is your ex you are getting back together with.
Allow yourself time to heal and accept the fact that it does take time. Just as wounds gradually heal, so will you.
10. “Tap” away negative feelings and thoughts. Tapping is a needle-free form of emotional acupuncture that helps with negative thoughts, emotions and memories to a point where they are no longer debilitating. It is strongly recommended for people experiencing emotional pain and upset. Find out more and get a “Tap Yourself" Free E-book. http://www.tapping.com/videos/stress-relief.html
11. Take up the Art of Karate. This martial arts technique has several benefits: It gets you moving Helps with concentration. Therefore enabling you to think about something else in depth. Most people that take Karate lessons want to go back and this can help you keep busy and productive. It also gives you a something to look forward to.
I know, and everyone knows, how very difficult a break up is. But like so many other bumps in the road you have to smoothly ride over the bump and not create damage to yourself in the process. You have a life, you have people who love you and you have your future! There is even hope you can get back your ex! Magic of Making Up
Tomorrow you will find out what the biggest killers of intimacy are in a relationship. This will be of value to you when you reunite with your ex. It is also good information for you to share with family and friends.
